Tuesday, February 2, 2010

my wife is my barber by Steve Calamars

my wife is my barber

and has probably helped me get more
women than i could have ever gotten
if left to my own devices

she cuts my hair, shaves my face,
chooses my colognes, mouth-washes
and breath-mints

she even picks out and styles my clothes
i’ve always been indifferent to
these kinda’ things

if left in my own natural state, my hair would
grow, i’d smell like ass and my shirts would be
little more than a collage of strains

but she likes me better polished and civilized
and it turns out other women do too

so when i meet a sexy new one who
can’t help but show interest in my
sleek, refined veneer

and a couple of weeks pass before
her interest turns to curiosity and her
panties drop and my ring slips off

i run my fingers thru my hair and down
along my smooth shaven face

take a whiff of my fruity cologne and thank
god i have such a dedicated barber who takes
such an interest in my appearance—

Bio: Steve Calamars lives in San Antonio, TX. He has a B.A. in Philosophy and works in a grocery store. His first poetry chapbook, American Violence, will be released April 2010 from New Polish Beat. He blogs at http://dirtywordsoncleanliving.blogspot.com/