my wife is my barber
and has probably helped me get more
women than i could have ever gotten
if left to my own devices
she cuts my hair, shaves my face,
chooses my colognes, mouth-washes
and breath-mints
she even picks out and styles my clothes
i’ve always been indifferent to
these kinda’ things
if left in my own natural state, my hair would
grow, i’d smell like ass and my shirts would be
little more than a collage of strains
but she likes me better polished and civilized
and it turns out other women do too
so when i meet a sexy new one who
can’t help but show interest in my
sleek, refined veneer
and a couple of weeks pass before
her interest turns to curiosity and her
panties drop and my ring slips off
i run my fingers thru my hair and down
along my smooth shaven face
take a whiff of my fruity cologne and thank
god i have such a dedicated barber who takes
such an interest in my appearance—
Bio: Steve Calamars lives in San Antonio, TX. He has a B.A. in Philosophy and works in a grocery store. His first poetry chapbook, American Violence, will be released April 2010 from New Polish Beat. He blogs at http://dirtywordsoncleanliving.blogspot.com/
