Alone by Paul Hellweg

Alone



Sometimes I wonder

why I feel so alone

when really I’m not.

Each and every night

my demons show up

to haunt and tease,

chide and ride.

There’s enough of them

to drink all my beer,

play all my music,

ransack the cupboards

and freezer too.

Demons never clean up,

they always leave

trash on the floor,

dirty dishes everywhere,

movies, books, poems

strewn here and there.

They’re definitely callous,

these demons of mine,

they don’t leave till I collapse,

they never say goodnight

or goodbye,

they don’t say, “See you again,”

but they’ll be back,

and I know when.



Sometimes I wonder.

Fuck National Poetry Month and Caffeinated Lies by Paul Hellweg

Fuck National Poetry Month

I’ve never understood
National Poetry Writing Month.
Seems to me
if you need a prompt
to be in touch with
what you’re feeling,
you’re not a poet.

A poet is someone who
has things inside
that have to come out, and all
a real poet needs
is a mutilated heart,
screaming soul, and
bottle of whiskey,
prompts be damned.

Caffeinated Lies

Caffeine lies to me,
alcohol lies to me,
hope and love lie to me,
my paycheck lies too.
All offer a glimpse of salvation,
then renege, chuckling,
the joke’s on me.
Despair doesn’t lie.
Despair speaks its own truths
to any and all
willing to pay attention.
Despair never welshes,
never changes its mind,
nor takes anything back.
But to hold such glory in your hands,
you have to be
willing to listen, and
willing to forgo
everything else.

Paul Hellweg has had over 60 poems published since his debut in 2009. He has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and he won the 2009 Famas Poetry Prize. He thinks all this is pretty cool.

Geppetto’s Burden,A Poem for a Cow,A Snake in My Bathroom and Ants by Paul Hellweg

Geppetto’s Burden


I’ve seen all too many older drunks
with noses that look like a
Proboscis Monkey on steroids.
Now every time I take a drink,
I run fingers along my snout,
hesitantly,
feeling for new growth,
dreading what I might find, and
I remember Pinocchio,
the innocence of my childhood under siege,
thinking, my god,
could it be?

A Poem for a Cow

Driving down Interstate 5
snacking on turkey jerky,
I pass a cattle truck.
All the cows stared at me
as I stuffed another piece in my mouth.
I tried to explain
it wasn’t beef, but
I don’t think they understood.
I also don’t think they know
where they’re going,
but then,
neither do I.


A Snake in My Bathroom

Opened the door
intent on taking a leak,
saw a gopher snake curled up,
imitating one that rattles.
Startled the snake,
but not as much
as it scared the shit out of me.
I scooped it up
with broom and bucket,
walked it out
a couple hundred yards
into the forest,
turned it loose,
thinking,
I wish all my fears
could be so easily
and conveniently
emancipated.


Ants

Camped at Movie Stringer,
drinking Scotch and water,
sitting on a rock,
ants all over the fuckin’ place.
I was afraid they’d get into the Scotch,
but it doesn’t seem to interest them.
I guess the ants of this world
don’t like to drink,
one more reason I do.


Bio: Paul Hellweg has had over 50 poems published since his debut in 2009. He has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and he won the 2009 Famas Poetry Prize (sponsored by Literary Chaos, an online magazine). He thinks all this is pretty cool.